Another day, another question from my Reddit feed.
The post
Do you think adultery is actually this common?
Until recently, I genuinely believed cheating was rare and mostly something that only happened in movies/shows. But over the last year, I’ve heard stories from my colleagues, friends, partner, and family that completely changed my perception. Apparently, there are married people - majorly men [from those stories 100% of the times men initiated, not waging gender war], who flirt, have affairs, use professional sex services, outside of their marriage. Some spouses are aware, but most others aren’t.
It made me wonder whether I’ve just happened to hear several unusual stories, or if this is something that many people know about in real life.
Honestly, the one that really made me think was paying for services when you already have a partner. Going on international trips with friends only to ‘have fun’ while your partner is at home. I’d feel like such a fool if I was the only one who’s faithful in the relationship while my partner deliberately sought sex outside marriage/relationship repeatedly.
Do you think cheating and adultery are actually common? Do you personally know people who have cheated or had affairs (share if you don’t mind), or have I just coincidentally heard about several cases through the people close to me? I fail to understand the reason as to why one would prefer the charades and lying over asking for an open relationship and if that’s a no then just separating and doing whatever the f*** you want.
It’s so common that they had to put it in the bible.
If you’ve seen married couple up close, you’ll realise the mechanics behind it.
#1: Resentment
The most common reason I’ve seen is resentment. Resentment for your partner built over many arguments and neglect. Now, this resentment could have been avoid had both of the partners had conflict resolution skills.
This resentment mostly leads of dead bedrooms, a lack of emotional and/or physical intimacy and in a few cases, the inability to stay in the same room without having an argument.
That’s when the partner(s) start looking elsewhere to fulfill their emotional and physical needs.
#2: A preference towards non-monogamy
The second most common reason is a lack of self-control or impulsive actions when there’s temptation. It’s important to understand early on if you’re such a person and either choose not to get married, opt for polyamory and form a polycule or go for an open marriage.
Don’t judge yourself if you are such a person. Your brain is wired differently, your needs are different and you have to work your way around it. Yes, people in traditional marriages won’t understand you, but you do you. As long as you’re not hurting anyone, who cares.
Categories: Mental Health, Reddit, Relationships
Tags: Adultery, Reddit, ThirtiesIndia
Publish date: 2026-06-23 13:02:45 +0530 ISTAuthor: AlanWeek: 2026-W26Month: 06-June